grief.

 8:00am: she questioned me about working from home again today. i said i was grieving and she tried to shame me by bringing up my aunt. insinuating that: 

1. i didn't grieve enough/properly for my aunt; and

2. that b. somehow deserves to be grieved less.

if grief is just love with nowhere to go, then what could a person who can neither love, nor receive love, know about grief? and are we gatekeeping grief?!?

5:41pm: she got upset at the dinner table when the cat almost, but didn't, knock over a drink. she freaked out about what could've happened, and she stopped it. she was further upset when i asked, "then why are you mad?"  

sophia asked of her, as i walked away, "are you ok?"

"no, i am not ok," she said dramatically.

john laughed.

i laughed.